..sono egao mamoru tame ni...inochi kakete mo kamawanai... ♥

location: ..hunting down Chinen-san. XD

mood: blank

music: Goodbye - Miley Cyrus

Title: Saying Goodbye [3/3] [..last chapter...should i make an epilogue..? O.o]

Author: .. --___--;

Fandom/s: Hey! Say! JUMP

Pairing/s: Daichii [Daiki is finally here. O.o]

Genre/s: Angst [Romance..?], Friendship

Rating/s: PG [..i don't think it's PG13 at all. O.o]

Disclaimer: ..Daichii belongs to each other...and the other pairings Chinen has and will have are NOT real...XD *whacked -ITAI..!-*

Note/s: ..i actually only thought if this last night...and i made it in a hurry...just to post something today...XD for the 'Can I Have This Dance..?' fic...i'll post Chapter 2 soon ne...thanks for waiting. X3 i got this fic from listening to 'Goodbye' by Miley Cyrus [god, i hate her...] READ THE WARNING/S..!

*WARNING/S: ..something quite...unexpected happens in the end...and i actually cried just thinking about the fic...those who read it...I'M SORRY if you hate me now..! VERY SORRY..! but it was worth a shot right..? someone asked me to make a Daichii angst. O.o so sorry..! I'M SORRY ABOUT THE ENDING..! *kills self*

*Written: 11/29/08-11/30/08
Part 1: Fate...It' can't be put into words...
Part 2: Saying goodbye...

 

I woke up this morning, and played our song...


He awoke, hearing the sound of a familiar song. He slowly opened his eyes and turned his head to where the music was coming from. It was his cell phone. He set his alarm on radio. Flame of Love. It was Chinen and Daiki's song. At first, it all started out as a joke.


"Ne, Chii, we don't have a song yet, do we?" Daiki, on one of their rehearsal days, asked.


"Iie. Do you want one?" Chinen asked in return.


"If it's okay with you."


"Un. Have you thought of a song?"


"I'm not su--"


Daiki was cut off when Hikaru inserted himself between the other two boys. "Ne!" Hikaru greeted them. Overhearing their conversation awhile ago, Hikaru told them, "I know a good song!"


"What is it, Hikaru?" Daiki asked a bit annoyed.


"What about MY song! Flame of Love!" Hikaru suggested.


Chinen laughed. "I guess it's okay, ne, Dai-chan?"


Daiki thought about it for a bit. "Un." Then he smiled at Chinen. "I guess it is."


And through my tears I sang along...

It hurt Chinen--so much. Hearing 'their song' for one more time. He, little by little, sang to the song. Tears were gathering in the corners of his eyes. "Aishiaeru sunzen no eien..." [*] Then one line struck him, but he continued singing with it. "Isshun no tsumeta sa kimi ni honoo wo miru..." [**] Chinen couldn't hold it back anymore. He let the tears roll down his cheeks as he sang the last line of the song, "Flame of Love...Fire..."


"Minna-san," the radio DJ started. "that was Flame of Love, sung by Hey! Say! JUMP's very own Yaotome Hikaru."


Chinen misses Daiki. He misses Daiki so much. He misses Daiki so much it hurt. Chinen wondered why Daiki was suddenly like this to him. Was it because he tried not to hurt Daiki? Or was it because his attempt to not hurt Daiki became the opposite? Chinen regretted not telling Daiki earlier. He was about to.


Chinen was walking down the agency corridors. 'I'm telling Dai-chan...now.' He kept repeating it to himself over and over again. He didn't want to keep it from Daiki, of all people. He knew Daiki was inside the dressing room.


He was about to enter their dressing room when he saw Ryutaro walk in before him. 'Eh? I guess I'll wait.' He peeked in to see them talking. Chinen could hear some parts of Daiki and Ryutaro's conversation. He heard Ryutaro call out to Daiki. 'Dai-chan!'


Chinen's eyes widened when he can now clearly hear what the two boys were talking about inside.


"You didn't know about his terminal illness?"


"Eh?! What terminal illness?!"


"The news reached some of the juniors and seniors. Although I think everyone in JUMP knows."


"I don't."


Chinen couldn't take this anymore. He quickly stood in the doorway. Daiki saw him. Chinen started, "Dai-chan..." Ryutaro scampered out of the room, a bit scared. Chinen closed the door behind him as he entered. They had a fight after that. Daiki ran to the bathroom where he was comforted by the ever-calm Keito. The rest of JUMP comforted Chinen.


When Daiki and Keito finally came back to join the rest of JUMP, Daiki noticed that Chinen was missing.He was told by Yabu, "He had to see the doctor."


"Then I'll just apologize tomorrow," Daiki told him.


Yabu didn't have the heart to tell Daiki one of the sad news, so he looked at Inoo. Inoo then complied by telling Daiki, "He's not coming back to the agency for awhile. The hospital is confining him starting tomorrow, until who knows when."


Ryosuke suggested that Daiki visit him sometime, together with the rest of JUMP. "I can't even do that," Daiki replied bitterly before walking away. He could hear Yuto say, "I'm sure it's still not that bad." Daiki didn't even look back.


On the way to the hospital, Chinen recalled the events that happened during the day. He couldn't stand Daiki being mad at him. 'This isn't healthy,' he thought to himself.


I picked up the phone, and then put it down...

'Cause I know I'm wasting my time...

And I don't mind...


He'll be the first. He'll make the first move. 'I'll call Dai-chan and apologize,' Chinen thought to himself. He picked up his cell phone that was lying on his bedside table, just near the picture of him and Daiki. He scrolled down his cell phone's contact list until he found 'Dai-chan ♥'. Chinen wanted to press 'Call' so badly. His fingers were shaking. Chinen sighed, and hesitantly pressed 'Exit' instead. He put the phone down again on the table. 'I'm wasting my time,' he told himself, sighing once more.


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Suddenly my cell phone's blowing up with your ringtone...


He didn't expect it, of course he didn't--not after what happened. He heard a sound. 'That ringtone,' he thought. It was playing, the sound echoing in his ears. He slowly sat up on the bed, glancing on the bedside table to check. It kept on ringing. Chinen's eyes widened when he saw the name flashing on his cell phone's screen. Dai-chan.


I hesitate but answer it anyway...

You sound so alone...


Hesitantly, Chinen picked up his cell phone. He wasn't sure if he should answer it. It just kept on ringing, that ringtone that was especially only used by Daiki. It was so Chinen would know that Daiki was the one calling. Should he answer? It was still ringing. Before he could really decide, he slowly pressed the 'answer' button on his phone's keypad. And he slowly brought the phone up to his ear.


On the other end, no one was talking, though he was sure there was someone there. Chinen could hear breathing. He didn't talk, too. He just waited. Finally the one on the other end started, "Chii..."


Just that. His heart did a little happy--but at the same time nervous--beating. Just hearing Daiki's voice, he was contented. But, he still didn't answer. Chinen didn't know what to answer. He waited for Daiki to continue.


"Chii...I'm sorry..."


"D-Dai-chan..." Chinen finally replied. "I...I miss you..."


He heard Daiki sigh in relief. "I thought you were mad at me," he told Chinen. "I mean, I understand if you are. What I did...that was really...stupid. I just wished I understood your intention earlier. Forgive me?"


Chinen's eyes welled up with tears again. "I was never mad to begin with, Dai-chan."


"Really? Are you sure?"


"Un."


"Because I'm going there right now."


Eh? "N-nani?"


"I'm going to the hospital now. Is it okay?"


"H-hai," Chinen replied, surprised. "D-Daijoubu."


Then, a click. Daiki hung up. Chinen's phone was still on his ear. 'Did I just...talk to Dai-chan..?' he asked himself. 'I probably shouldn't get my hopes up.' He shut his phone and placed it again on the bedside table. He glanced once more to see the picture of him and Daiki happily showing their best smiles.


Chinen heard fast-paced footsteps outside his room. Then, a few knocks on his door. The person knocking didn't wait for Chinen to answer, but just slowly opened the door, and entered part by part. "Dai-chan..." Chinen whispered with a smile on his face.


Daiki approached Chinen without a sound. He stood beside Chinen's bed, carefully holding onto Chinen's weakening hand. "D-Dai-chan..." Chinen couldn't say anything else other than that at this moment.


"Chinen," Daiki almost never uses Chinen's full name. This surprised Chinen. "G-Gomenasai..." Daiki's tears started rolling down his cheeks. Chinen hated seeing Daiki sad, especially cry. Chinen slolwy pulled back his hands from Daiki's.


With all the strength that he had left, Chinen propped himself up to kneel on his bed, facing Daiki. He sat down on his ankles just near the edge of the bed, making sure not to fall. Slowly, he lifted a hand, and reached for Daiki's face. He gently wiped away Daiki's tears, and wrapped his arms around Daiki's neck. He felt Daiki hugging him back, tight but careful.


"Don't cry, Dai-chan," Chinen managed to say. "I promise that I won't hide anything from you again. So there. Don't be sad anymore. I...I want to see you smile."


Daiki raised his head little by little. A part of his lips curved up into a small smile. Chinen, who also beginning to cry, forced a smile. "Dai-chan..." he said. "Please...Don't cry."


"Un." Daiki sniffed, then nodded. He pulled Chinen closer. Chinen felt Daiki kiss his ear. Chinen relaxed in Daiki's arms. He hadn't felt this warm for a long time, he thought. He always felt safe and warm when Daiki was hugging him--or plainly just with him.


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And I'm surprised to hear you say...

You remembered when we kissed...

You still feel it on your lips...

The time that you danced with me...

With no music playing...


Chinen was lying down on the bed again, while Daiki was on the chair beside, holding Chinen's hand. "Gomene, Dai-chan," Chinen said weakly.


"Eh?"


"I'm no fun today. I don't really have enough energy left, as much as I want to be hyper," he explained.


Daiki sighed, smiling. "Don't force yourself, Chii."


"Dai-chan," Chinen started again.


"Hm?"


"I'm glad you came."


"I'm glad I did, too." Daiki paused. "Do you still remember the time when..." Daiki trailed off. Chinen looked at him expectantly, so he continued, "when I accidentally kissed you...on the lips?"


"As always, you were attempting to kiss me on the cheek, ne?" Chinen said with a wide smile.


Daiki blushed, and nodded. "Un. And...the many times I'd randomly dance with you out of no where?"


"You hum Ultra Music Power for an upbeat tune, and sometimes you hum My Everything if you felt like dancing with ballad."


They both laughed. "You actually remember those, even the details, ne?" Daiki asked.


"Mouchiro," Chinen answered. "I wouldn't forget them."


"We were so happy then..."


Chinen looked at Daiki sadly. "We're not happy now?"


"Iie!" Daiki said quickly. "That's not what I meant. It's just that...you know..."


"Hai, hai. Wakarimashita, Dai-chan. Daijoubu." Chinen smiled again.


You remember those simple things...

We talked 'til we cried...


Daiki stood from the chair and walked to the other side of Chinen's bed--to the bedside table. Chinen's eyes followed Daiki. He watched as Daiki picked up the green and black striped picture frame on the table.


"This was...during our photoshoot on the bay, near the beach." Daiki was looking intently at the picture.


"Technically, it was an off-shoot. I took it with my camera, remember?"


"Un. Yuto and Yama-chan were already playing on the beach since their turn was over. We got really bored waiting."


"I was taking pictures of random stuff." Chinen pouted. "I thought of taking a picture of the two of us."


"The background sure is pretty, ne?"


"It was a lucky shot," Chinen grinned.


Daiki smiled and put the picture back down on the table. He went back to sitting on the chair on the other side of the bed. When Daiki sat down, he noticed Chinen yawn.


You said that your biggest regret...

The one you wish I'd forget...


"Chii," Daiki began, holding Chinen's hand once more. "go to sleep, ne."


"Yada," Chinen retorted. "I'm not sleepy." Then, he yawned.


"Yeah right."


"Kowai yo," he told Daiki, tears forming on the corner of his eyes.


"Eh? Nande?" Daiki asked worriedly.

"Dai-chan...might leave again..." Chinen answerd in almost a whisper.


Daiki now realized how hurt, and scared, he made Chinen. A lone tear rolled down his cheeks as he raised Chinen's hand to his lips. "Gomene...Chii...I promise I won't leave."


"Really?"


"Hai." Daiki stood up without letting go of Chinen's hand. He drew his face nearer to Chinen's. When Chinen knew what Daiki was going to do, he turned his head.


"Gomenasai, Dai-chan. Demo...I can't kiss you." Tears began rolling down Chinen's cheeks. "It's because...it'll be hard...when I'm gone..."


Daiki's eyes widened. "Chii...Don't...Don't say things like that."


"D-Dai-chan..." Daiki stared intently into Chinen's sad eyes. "I was just...waiting for you..."


"N-Nani...What are you talking about?"


Chinen smiled, and slowly shook his head. "Nan demo nai." He looked up at Daiki, then sighed. "Okay," he started. "you can kiss me."


Daiki chuckled, then placed his lips on Chinen's. They stayed like that for a moment before Daiki broke the kiss. He placed another hand on Chinen's cheeks softly, before kissing Chinen on the forehead gently. "Sleep," Daiki told Chinen. "Chii, sleep. You need to rest if you want to get better quickly."


Chinen felt something. He knew.....


"Un," Chinen forced a smile, even though he wanted to cry so badly. "Dai-chan is tired. You should go home, ne. It's getting late."


"I'm staying the night." Daiki smiled.


"Really?!" Chinen sounded really surprised. "A-Arigato...Dai-chan..."


Daiki gave Chinen a smile before saying, "Now, rest, Chii."


"Dai-chan...I love you."


"I love you, too." Daiki kissed Chinen's hand again.


Chinen smiled, and closed his eyes. "Dai-chan..." he began once more, this time in a whisper.


"Nani?" Daiki asked softly.


"I'll always be...waiting for you..." Daiki didn't notice, but a lone tear escaped from Chinen's closed eyes.


Daiki rested his head on the side of the bed. "Arigato." Then, he closed his eyes.


..is goodbye...


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Daiki awoke to the sound of commotions inside the room. His eyes shot open, and he noticed that he was still holding Chinen's hand. He looked around the room and saw the sad faces of the other JUMP members.


Ryosuke was crying so hard. Yuto was hugging Ryosuke with an expressionless face. Takaki was leaning on the wall, his eyes closed, but his face tear-stained. Inoo was sitting on a chair next to Hikaru. He was sobbing as Hikaru patted his back. Hikaru was obviously holding back from crying. Ryutaro had his arm around a wailing Shintaro. Taiga and Casey were quietly sitting on the sofa, a dark and depressing aura surrounding them. Keito was at a corner, just looking outside the window. Yabu was on the end of the bed Chinen was lying on, blank.


Chinen.


Daiki's gaze slowly turned to Chinen.


Chinen was lying still, and pale. His lips were pale, and the hand he was holding onto felt really cold. He let go off Chinen's hand slowly, but noticed how tight Chinen held onto it.


Daiki approached Yabu and asked him, "Yabu-kun, what happened?"


Yabu, who was still staring the unmoving Chinen, answered, "Dai-chan...Chii..." A tear rolled down Yabu's cheek. He stayed silent.


Daiki felt someone grab his shoulders hard. Hikaru pulled Daiki to face him. "He's gone, Dai-chan!" Hikaru was now crying.


"N-nani..."


"Chinen's gone!" Hikaru repeated, before letting go of Daiki.


Daiki turned to look at Yabu. He practically yelled, "What?! Since when?!"


Yabu answered in a whisper, "A-Around...four AM."


"What time is it now?"


Keito answered, "Six AM."


Daiki looked back the the lifeless Chinen lying still on the bed. He approached it cautiously. He heard Ryosuke's sobs grow louder. Yuto tightened his grip around him.


Daiki kept on staring at the lifeless body. He was waiting for one of the members to suddenly say, 'Kidding, Dai-chan! He's not really dead!' He waited...waited...and waited. He felt himself shaking violently. He dropped down on his knees and cried hard.


Takaki rushed to Daiki's side and rubbed Daiki's back. "Shh...Dai-chan. He's in a better place now. He won't be having a hard time anymore, ne..."


Daiki clung onto Takaki's shirt and cried. "Ch-Chii..N-Nande..." Daiki repeated Chinen's name again and again. "Chii....Chii...Chii..!"


Daiki remembered Chinen saying, "Dai-chan..." It was like hearing Chinen's actual voice. "I was just...waiting for you..."


..I'll always be...waiting for you...


~♥~

'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.
-Cancer, My Chemical Romance~

~♪~


..hai~! sorry for the late update. i was busy and with no insipiration. gyaaa~h! i can finally continue 'can i have this dance' this is just an intermission number. XD k. that was weird. XD SORRY FOR THOSE WHO FELT SAD AND CRIED. BE SURE TO READ THIS PART~!!! there will be an epilogue though. i THINK it'll be quite...uhm...a bit happy there. :D the epilogue will be weird though. but it'll lighten up the mood a bit...sorry..! i'm really sorry..! i cant believe i made a fic where chinen-san had to die...and finished it on his birthday..XD oel...HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY CHINEN-SAN..!


.OTANJOUBI OMEDETTOU GOZAIMASU, CHINEN YUURI-SAN~!


..comments and corrections are very appreciated... X3 arigato gozaimasu~!